Talk with someone before it gets so bad that I can’t talk to someone!
Well self: make a list of people you can turn to when you’re at your worst. Write them a letter (now) to let them know how best to help you when you’re like this. Here’s a sample:
Dear [awesome person],
Can I call you next time I get depressed? If so, here’s what you can do that will help me:
- Just listen. I don’t need advice, I just need to be heard, to sense that someone understands what I’m going through, and that I’m not crazy! It’s hard to just listen, you’re going to want to try to help, to fix, but trust me, you can’t, and it won’t. Just be with me in my pain – THAT’S what will help the most.
- If you don’t have time or energy for it when I ring, can you let me know that? I don’t want to be a burden, and sensing that I am will only make it worse. Perhaps you could let me know a later time that would work for you, or a different person I could ring?
- Can you remind me of the resources I have, that I will have forgotten about? Like, my little wallet guide, or [this website], or the food I put in the freezer for these occasions? I forget them when I’m unwell.
- Once I’ve been really heard, can you please remind me that my brain is lying to me? And help me find the internal resources to notice the positives?
- I can’t make decisions when I’m depressed. I may need you to make them for me. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision, sometimes any decision is better than none, when I’m stuck.
Thank you. And if you’re ever depressed, please know that I am here for you too.
Much love,
Julie
